New Year, New You, New Point of View

How many times have we made this solemn promise? This year... fill in the new habit we will embrace, the old, limiting thoughts we will finally let go, the new fad/challenge/gimmick we will master.  I don't know about you, but it gets exhausting! Then there is the inevitable deflation of our well thought reserves when we eventually, through intentional or unintentional means, abandon this year's shiny new goal for ordinary existence.  Maybe we didn't have time to commit to such a lofty goal and we will try again next year.  Maybe life just happened, and we forgot all about it in the day-to-day management of work, family, life. Oh well, there is always next year.  We subject ourselves to this year in and year out.  I have personally come to realize that starting a brand new year with another failed attempt is just ridiculous. I don't want my New Year to start of with feelings of failure and rejection. 

So, this year, my goal is set kinder, gentler plans for myself.  A resolution, when broken or forgotten, feels like a heavy loss. It points a finger at us and says 'you didn't have the wherewithal to see this through. So, my

new philosophy of plans gives me some flexibility. I can set them down for a time and pick up where I left off.  I can change them if I find that my original design is lacking or has changed with the execution. Plans give me breathing room instead of suffocating rigidness. So, with my new philosophy, I set out to determine what plans I need and more importantly want in my world at present keeping in mind that they should have flexibility. 

One of my favorite sayings is, "You can't pour from and empty vessel." It took me a long time to actually put this into practice.  Up until several years ago, I was so invested in 'my hustle' that I didn't know what a weekend off looked like.  I have a full-time job and do various events on the weekends to help people. I booked every show on every weekend I possibly could, until I had a complete meltdown.  I pushed, hammered, and shoved so hard that eventually my mental health had to pull the

proverbial fire alarm to get me to sit down and listen.  I never even noticed that I had no energy and no focus.  I just kept pushing. Part of that is due to how I grew up. There was never time for myself, and certainly no time to put myself first, so I never learned how to listen to my own body and mind queues that something was about to give, and it would probably be me. Once I forced myself to slow down to recover from this (and it was a struggle), I learned a valuable lesson.  I MUST take time off EVERY month for my own health and well-being.  What that time off looks like can vary, it can be staying home with my hubby and playing games, it can be going to nature to rest and rejuvenate, it can be going to a concert.  It is whatever I need my time to be to best take care of myself.  There are a lot of sayings out there about self-care being a priority and you have to put yourself first. Those are pretty words to someone who never learned how and especially to someone who can't say no to other people.  Yet, for our own well-being, we MUST be our own strong advocates because no one else can do it for us. NO ONE.

Practice an Attitude of Gratitude. I know we have all been around negative people at one time or another.  Some of us may even share a workspace with negative people. For these folks, nothing can ever be right. Their daily rants range from the bus was late, my coffee order is wrong, my phone won't stop raining, why are our clients so needy, etc., etc., etc. One thing we can all likely agree on is that we don't enjoy being around these people whether for short or long durations. They can bring

our moods down in seconds flat. I once had a mentor tell me that what you think and what you say are what you create in the universe.  This serves as a reminder to be mindful of what you are thinking and saying because the Universe is always listening and is ready to give you more of what you think and say. For example, should your thoughts and words revolve around constantly being tired of being broke, the Universe will give you more of being broke. If your thoughts and words revolve around being lonely, the Universe will give you more loneliness. We are the creators of our reality, if we want to change our situation, we must change our narrative. Instead of being broke, perhaps we can change the narrative to, "I am financially stable and have all I need to pay my bills with some leftover for fun." Instead of being lonely, perhaps we can change our narrative to, "I attract likeminded, compassionate people into my life." See the difference? Psychology Today tells us, " Cultivating gratitude is about the simple act of focusing daily on what you’re grateful for, which can have a tremendously positive psychological impact." We can use this practice to say something like, I may have missed the bus, but at least the sun is shining. The whole concept is about turning the negative into positive. This will take practice, but once you catch yourself in a negative mindset and intentionally change it to positive, it will become habit and every day will begin to improve. 

Starting the New Year with one or more new plans can give us something to look forward to during the year. Should you need to set your plans down for a bit because there is just too much going on, give yourself a visual reminder of them. Even if you can't practice them or work on them, you can give them at least a thought during the day to keep it in your mind that you want to get back to them. Print up a sign with your plans and some phrases to help keep them with you. Write them on your bathroom mirror so you can see them every day. Set an alarm on your phone with a reminder every day to keep them with you. When you are ready, pick them back up and give them some dedicated time to remember where you are with your plans and what you want to do next. Having to step away from your plans does not make you a failure, so please don't put that thought in your head. This is a form of self-care where other things are at the forefront, but your plans will be your focus once you get through this current rough patch.  Guilt has no part to play here either. Some of us were raised to feel guilty for putting things we want to do first. We must be the ones to take back our power and proclaim that WE are what is important right here, right now and no one gets to tell us otherwise.