Encouraging Words

I know we all have struggles – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.   During these struggles some of us are lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and loved ones who want to help us.  These well meaning folks may have gone through something similar to what we are going through now.  I can attest that at times in my life when I was struggling with healing or growth I had some great people around who would tell me ‘I know you can do it.’  I understand that they meant well and that they were trying to cheer me on.  They may have been able to see strength and courage where all I felt was broken and lost.  I don’t begrudge them their words or their sentiment.  I’d like to talk about some words that I find more empowering. 

More recently I was struggling with growth…again.  I was talking with a new friend and describing how distraught I was, how sure I was that I was going to fail and how frustrated I was with myself.  She looked me in the eye and said, ‘You will get through this. I believe in you.’  I felt lifted in a way I never had before.  Those words, I believe in you, changed something inside me.  For the first time I didn’t feel that I was expected to already have the answer and I just needed to admit it and move on.  For the first time, there was room to discover the answer myself in whatever way I needed to find it.  I could breathe!  I didn’t feel suffocated with expectation. 

Now, when a friend or loved one is struggling and they bless me with being a listener and a helper on their path I pause.  I try to check my automatic response that “I know.”  While I truly may understand how they are feeling or what they are going through I don’t really “know.”  I don’t know their personal history completely.  I don’t know what their self talk is.  Do they find it hard to not think that they only mess things up?  Do they feel their life is ruined?  I strive to help them change their negatives to positives.  Most of all, I tell them that I believe in them!  I believe they can stop negative self talk.  I believe they will find the answer to their struggle when they are ready to embrace change.  I believe they are a bright and beautiful soul and their light shines despite their struggles!