I know we all have struggles – physical, mental, emotional, and
spiritual. During these struggles some of us are lucky
enough to be surrounded by friends and loved ones who want to help us. These well meaning folks may have gone
through something similar to what we are going through now. I can attest that at times in my life when I
was struggling with healing or growth I had some great people around who would
tell me ‘I know you can do it.’ I
understand that they meant well and that they were trying to cheer me on. They may have been able to see strength and
courage where all I felt was broken and lost.
I don’t begrudge them their words or their sentiment. I’d like to talk about some words that I find
more empowering.
More recently I was struggling with growth…again. I was talking with a new friend and
describing how distraught I was, how sure I was that I was going to fail and
how frustrated I was with myself. She
looked me in the eye and said, ‘You will get through this. I believe in you.’ I felt lifted in a way I never had
before. Those words, I believe in you,
changed something inside me. For the
first time I didn’t feel that I was expected to already have the answer and I
just needed to admit it and move on. For
the first time, there was room to discover the answer myself in whatever way I
needed to find it. I could breathe! I didn’t feel suffocated with expectation.
Now, when a friend or loved one is struggling and they bless
me with being a listener and a helper on their path I pause. I try to check my automatic response that “I
know.” While I truly may understand how
they are feeling or what they are going through I don’t really “know.” I don’t know their personal history
completely. I don’t know what their self
talk is. Do they find it hard to not
think that they only mess things up? Do they
feel their life is ruined? I strive to
help them change their negatives to positives.
Most of all, I tell them that I believe in them! I believe they can stop negative self
talk. I believe they will find the
answer to their struggle when they are ready to embrace change. I believe they are a bright and beautiful
soul and their light shines despite their struggles!